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The Lounge / Have I got the wrong vibe.

« on: December 06, 2010, 02:14:58 AM »

There have been major abuse issues at all four senior schools I attended. It involved people in my age group, but I was never once approached or intimidated. Or propositioned . I feel a little rejected.

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The Lounge / casting couch

« on: February 11, 2010, 05:31:41 AM »

Imagine a film premise was submittted on a whim to a company who had previously funded a film by the same applicant which made them a lot of money. If you imagined this company would then throw a huge budget to the applicant with almost no restriction whatsoever then you win a prize.
  Problem is simple. The premise itself means nothing. I'm going to make it up as I go along, but I have no convincing talent. Are you that talent? I will write you into the script but I need your character in advance. Who are you or who can you pretend to be. You will be flown from your place to Melbourne, then to FNQ and the beautiful garden city of Weipa if you make cut. I'm open to all new ideas and abuse.

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The Lounge / earthiness in your mouth

« on: April 22, 2009, 04:42:25 AM »

womans pussy, is there any greater taste. I haven't found it. No silly answers here,but that moment when a lady lets go and gives herself to you and you have that unsurpassable view of tight belly, arched back and eyes screwed back and rapid contraction, I want to make that again and again.Before my own pleasure(which in a male is rare and valued)

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The Lounge / mystic dolphins

« on: April 22, 2009, 02:10:41 AM »

I get a bit sick of hearing about the "magic" qualities of doolphins. They're crap animals with the intelligence of dogs. They hang in packs of males which kidnap females from other pods. Then they wait for the females give birth and murder the offspring, before gang raping the female to encourage they're own genetic future. Any sick or injured member of their family is also murdered.They only hang around humans because a predator is far more likely to pick on a floundering human than a healthy dolphin. If you work in an aquarium which houses them you have to cancel shows after vaccinations because it puts them off their food and they are uncontrollable unless they want food. If you own a shirt with a dolphin jumping over the moon blowing crystals out its arse then you are a fuckwit.

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The Lounge / Davo's hate mail

« on: January 28, 2009, 08:03:59 PM »

Sir David Attenborough recieves hate mail over his belief in evolution. his answer goes " They always mean beautiful things like hummingbirds, I always reply by saying that I think of a little child in east Africa with a worm burrowing through his eyeball. The worm cannot live any other way except by burrowing through eyeballs. I find that hard to reconcile with a notion of a divine and benevolent creator.    Ahh the savage garden.

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The Lounge / joking

« on: January 24, 2009, 02:38:03 AM »

 Sometimes, I must admit, I find great joy in the suffering of those I love. A good practical joke is worth a thousand one liners, but my friends and loved ones are onto me so I need new methods, would love to hear some suggestions. I'll start with my tried and true favourites.
     #1- When driving on a long trip wait till your passenger is properly asleep, then slap them hard on the chest while screaming and hit the brakes. most people get the shock of their lives from that one, I had one workmate piss his pants.
      #2- If someone is drinking out of a can, a pinprick just below where the bottom lip contacts will release a little drop onto your victims chin. They don't tend to check for holes, they just start to think they have a problem, hilarious
       #3- Write the contact numbers for your most homophobic friends on the walls of public toilets frequented by gay men
        #4-(this ones not original, I can't remember where I found it, but it's a winner) take a hot dog and wake your friend up by brushing his lips with it. Be turning away and pretend you are zipping up your fly as his eyes open. The reaction is anything between revolted confusion and murderous rage, also hilarious.

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The Lounge / advice for a grieving kid

« on: December 14, 2008, 05:02:09 PM »

  trawling through another discussion site recently I came across a thread from a 17 year old kid who had written " my dad died, what do I do. It was followed by much emotional cliche about "remembering the good times" and allowing yourself to go through the process etc etc. There was even a picture of a rose.Look, I hope it helps, but I stumbled on my own coping strategy when my own father kicked on prematurely.First I got shitfaced at the wake, then proceeding to a normally sedate bar, I started a riot. When the dozen or so cops with dogs had finally calmed things down it would seem I had punched one of them in the face. The resulting injuries and legal complications were so engrossing I hardly thought of dear old Dad, greatly diminishing my grief.Win Win. My question is would it help this poor kid to know about it? Does any one else have any advice for him?

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The Lounge / oz doesn't exist

« on: December 07, 2008, 05:58:19 AM »

explain the battle of Long Tang you wanker